My daughter started three-year-old kinder this year. Which wasn’t a thing when I was three but it is now so there you go. I was pretty excited because unlike daycare, kinder does not provide lunch. And nothing appeals to my inner obsessive-compulsive like the chance to pack my child’s lunch. When I was in primary school, the State Government subsidised healthy lunches which you could buy from the canteen; little boxes with’ Life. Be in It’ stickers on them which contained a wholemeal sandwich cut into small triangles, sliced carrot and a celery stick, the height of sophistication. In the weeks leading up to her first day, I fantasised about all the amazing lunches I was going to pack my daughter. I was going to refer to one of those pie charts and each meal would contain two serves of dairy, the daily recommended intake of grains, fruit and vegetables and they would be presented in such a way that she would talk about them to her grandchildren.

And then I got lazy and sent her off with a cheese and vegemite sandwich and some sultanas.

At the end of her first day, she came home with a letter explaining that ‘chocolates and lollies will be sent home’ and a list of recommendations for lunch and morning tea. One of these suggestions was the bliss ball.

This is a term you hear a lot as a mother in Castlemaine but I had no idea what  a bliss ball was. A quick search revealed that there are entire forums devoted to the bliss ball and that fans of the bliss ball are a little on the evangelical side. They love the bliss ball and they want you to love it too. Examples:

We can never get enough of these balls!!! (People who make bliss balls can also never get enough of the exclamation mark!!!)

 Full of healthy fats!!!

Bite size healthy mouthfuls of bliss!!

 Will help you keep on track to nutrition!!!

 The perfect healthy all natural snack!!!!!

They’re all lying because bliss balls are bullshit.

I am often accused of being pessimistic, cynical and generally an arsehole. I decided to put my cynicism aside and make some bliss balls. I thought it would be a fun thing to do with my daughter.

Maybe I had read too many bliss ball forums, because I clapped my hands three times and yelled, “Today we are going to make bliss balls!!! YAY!!! I’m so excited!!!!”

“I want to watch Frozen.”

“We can watch Frozen after we spend quality time together making these healthy nutritious bite-size snacks!!!!”

What is rice malt syrup? It took a while to find a recipe that didn’t include this.

When you give birth to a girl, many women tell you that you have 12- 14 years until she decides you’re a dick, she hates you, and she wants nothing to do with you. If you don’t want to wait that long, you could get her to help you make bliss balls and then force her to eat one.

Recipe below.

Yasmine’s Balls of Disappointment


I cup of raw almonds ( I didn’t have these, because I don’t work in a health food store. I replaced with peanuts)

Half a cup of desiccated coconut ( I didn’t have this either - kindly donated by Marge next door)

1 cup of frozen raspberries

3 medjool dates - seeds removed (Thanks again Marge)


Blitz ingredients in blender/food processor of choice!!!

You may need to stop and scrape down sides of dish then continue to blitz further ( I find this a little patronising but then I didn’t know what a medjool date was so maybe I deserve to be patronised?)

Roll into balls

Pop in fridge or freezer to set ( I feel this needs more explanation because one makes things cold and the other freezes them…)

You’re welcome.